Missing your mom on Mother’s Day? | Loop Jamaica

The content originally appeared on: Jamaica News | Loop News

Mother’s Day is traditionally an opportunity to show your appreciation for your mom. But, unfortunately for some people, the day and the ones leading up to it can be filled with dread as they are again forced to deal with the loss of their mother.

For cosmetologist, 34-year-old Shanika McAdam, who lost her mother 23 years ago, this grief intensifies on Mother’s Day.

“It does not get better no matter how many years have passed,” she said. “Mother’s Day for me is heartbreaking, seeing that my mom is not here.

“Like so many people, I would be looking forward to taking her out or buying gifts or even cooking her something special. It’s hard because I never thought she would be here one minute and be gone the next, she told Loop News. “Just the thought of not seeing her again makes me cry. I mean, as a child I dreamt of one day taking care of her only to realise that this will never be possible. I try my best to move on but it is extremely difficult, especially on Mother’s Day and birthdays.”

This difficulty is one shared by 24-year-old university student Anica Smith, who lost her mom when she was 12. She said every year since, she tries to distract herself from her emotions on Mother’s Day.

“I don’t like Mother’s Day. I typically pretend that it’s any other day except Mother’s Day. I don’t watch people’s [Instagram] stories and sometimes when it gets too much, I go MIA on social media. If I’m at church, I busy myself with helping out however I can in the background so that I don’t have to stand or sit and watch people with their mothers. Being busy also helps to take my mind off the fact that she’s not here anymore,” she said.

Licensed Associate Counselling Psychologist Jhanille Brooks knows that this day can be hard for people who have lost their mom. She shared with Loop News strategies that can help to deal with grief on Mother’s Day.

Feel your feelings. We tend to avoid feelings such as sadness or anger, but this avoidance can actually intensify our emotions. Take the time to identify, acknowledge and feel your feelings.Communicate these feelings to your loved onesBe kind to yourself. Acknowledge that losing your mother is hard and do not judge yourself for whatever you are feeling.Do something to honour your mother’s memory.Avoid social media if it is difficult for you.